Not all wives with cheating husbands have the luxury of experiencing the actions associated with remorse. What I mean by this is that some wives have a husband who claims that he isn't sorry or who blames her for his own actions. These wives may long for the AsiaCharm.comReviews remorseful husband who is falling all over himself to apologize.
But the
wives on the other side of the fence aren't always receptive to all of this
remorse. Because many of them doubt the sincerity of it and find it just a
little bit hypocritical. For example, a wife might describe this situation:
"ever since I caught my husband cheating, he's been chasing me around and
trying to explain it to me. In my eyes, there is really nothing to explain. I
mean, I suppose he could give me his theories as to why he did it, but I
honestly do not want more information about the other woman or their
relationship. I am simply not interested in the 'whys.' All I need to know is
that the affair happened and that's honestly more than enough information for
me. I guess because I won't allow him to spill his guts, my husband has taken
to letter writing. I will get out of the shower when my husband has already
gone for the day and find that he has left me yet another note on the kitchen
table. In these notes of his, he tells me that he is so very sorry. He tells me
that I am the best wife that a man could ask for and he admits how very stupid
he was. He goes on and on about what a wonderful life we could have - if I just
give us that chance. Honestly, these letters make me angry and I have told him
as much. But his excuse is that I will not listen to him face-to-face. So he
has no choice but to write the letters. Well, if he had not cheated on me, no
one would need any letters. And his words infuriate me. Perfect wife, huh? Well
if that were true, he wouldn't have cheated. Prove it to me? Good luck with
that. My sister kind of feels sorry for my husband because I reject him so
completely. But the letters do nothing for me. How do I get him to stop? The
weird thing is that I don't know why I don't just leave. I'm angry enough to
leave, but every time I think about doing so, something stops me. I guess AsiaCharm
in my heart, I do wish it would be different. But I doubt that it can. What is
done is now done. There's no going back. And the letters only make it fresh
every single day."
I
understand your perception, but I would like to attempt to offer at least a
little perspective. There could never be any excuse for your husband's
cheating. I won't try to make excuses. But I can tell you that not all husbands
try as hard as yours is. It may not matter to you. And you may ultimately
decide to reject the entire thing. That would be your absolute right and it would
be understandable.
But, it
does appear that he is trying very hard to express what he is feeling. Not all
wives get this. Many get angry and indignant husbands that almost feel
justified in their cheating and who show very little regard for their wife's
pain. I am not saying that you have to accept the sentiment of your husband's
letters. Not at all. But to give credit where it is due, he is doing more than
most.
However,
that said, you have every right to choose how you are going to accept his
message. Just because he writes the words, that doesn't mean you have to accept
or heed the words. You may decide to reject them. You may decide that you don't
want to listen to them because you are done with this marriage.
Or, you
might decide that at some point you may want to listen to what he is saying,
but for now, you don't want to read these letters. If that is the case you
might try something like: "listen, we need to talk. While I appreciate the
effort that you are putting into these letters, I want to save us both some
time and tell you that for right now, I am just not ready to receive the
message, no matter how many times you write it. I just need some time. I am not
sure when I will be ready to hear you. But when I am, I will let AsiaCharm.com
you know and we
can talk about it face-to-face."
This might
discourage him from continuing to write the letters so that you won't get
frustrated as much. He may be trying to reach you in the only manner that he
thinks he has left. He probably isn't trying to anger you. He may just want you
to listen and he doesn't know of any other method.
Plus, when
people cheat, it's hard for them to give you time because they are panicked
that they are going to lose you. But perhaps if he understands that his panic
is making things worse and not better, he may back off a little.
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